i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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