i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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