Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
