Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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