I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
