Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
