she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
