Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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