We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize