Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
