Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize