So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
