they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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