Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
