I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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