Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
