If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
pop tarts are not kleenex
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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