Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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