i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
