Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize