You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
