why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
