Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
