she woke up with a sticky ear
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
