..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
