Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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