i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
