Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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