he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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