I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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