Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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