I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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