Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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