It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
