he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My feet surprised me
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