You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
