Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
