My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize