I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
