at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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