people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
50% drunk capacity currently
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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