i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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