you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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