He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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