He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
