Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
