He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
