wrigley field is MILF paradise
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
