hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
