The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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