I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
