I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
