so explain again why im purple
no
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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