I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
