Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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