Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
