Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
