New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
