i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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